This is an email Kyle sent out to heaps of people publicising his story when it had only just been started - there are many changes from the final product
All hail!!
(This letters to everyone but written in 3rd person to all)
To Someone, who, although have somewhat awful tastes in music, are O.K
people once you get over the initial shock of impact (?)
As promised, this is the letter you have been waiting for!
Yes, you are really about to find out exactly what happened when a
bunch of
baked beans decided to invade earth… … …
Firstly, a word on my next piece of work,
This story has no name, not much of a plot, and no hero worth
mentioning
(That’s because James is the hero, in a sick, twisted sort of way.
Here I will attempt to answer some of the questions you are no doubt
itching
to ask…
No, my role will not prominent. Although this would make for a totally
enjoyable story, it is not my intention to make myself feel good by
making
my role natural. I will be playing a side-kick role, or perhaps as
someone’s boyfriend or as someone’s older brother or some police
officer.
No, the role of Matilda will not be linked with that of Andrew. I have
decided to have mercy on Matilda, I don’t really know her and I don’t
think
she likes me cause of her last role, so I’ll be trying to give her a
decent
role. And no, she won’t be playing the dumb blonde role.
Andrews fate, however, is up to my imagination. Expect some totally
weird
role from him, maybe as a boyfriend to the dumb blonde who turns
traitor
after she dies, and is killed by Matilda, or maybe Matildas secret
admirer,
or maybe the cop who lets Matilda pass at a military crossing with out
a
passport because he thinks he’s got a chancer with her or something.
Andrew
has developed into someone I don’t think will eva get a good role,
because
of his attitude towards my story and because of the way he carried on
about
his role. Poor Andrew! (Grumble)
Yes, James will be the main character. We will, however, be playing
the
“James” stereotype, and even though James might have matured slightly,
this
will not be noticeable. Perhaps it will be stupidity that eventually
gives
James a happy ending, but if I make him use his brain at the climax I
think
he’ll die.
James wont be married to Matilda for her sake, is it within
the
realms of possibility that se might not like it? James will have to
make do
with Mel or Hannah or perhaps even Rachel.
The dumb blonde character was a toss up between Matilda, Rachel,
Rebecca,
Lucy or even Amy. My policy of being nicer to Matilda rules her out,
Rebecca has a role which needs intelligence. That left Amy, Lucy and
Rachel. Amy already did have a role which needed a lack of
intelligence,
but I think Amy having some intelligence would help for her involvement
in
some plans and her … um … thing with Enrik. Rachel or Lucy. Hmm.
Rachel
is certainly blonde, and fits the role perfectly. James even
volunteered
her for it. However, I took this as him volunteering to be her
boyfriend.
Lucy would also fit the role perfectly, because of an incident and
convention I have not forgotten… … Anyway, She is sort of blonde (I
think)
and having her as a character would extend interest to St. Helens.
Email me
with suggestions, please, over who should get this honourable role.
Enrik, you might not want to read this, so scroll down to the next
paragragh
and keep reading! Enrik will have a role in which he will be involved
in
some certain evil things. Perhaps he could be the leader of the evil
people. Later on, a so called romance involving him and a gurl, sorry
Enrik, will happen. Whether this is Amy, Kathryn or even someone like
Emma
or Mel is inertly up to me. (Although suggestions and bribes are
taken.)
Robert is going to be living life to the full, dude! The ULTIMATE
chick
magnet, Jo is going to have a role as well. (This is what you get for
setting people up yourself, youfall in love.) - see Mission:Mars - JP
Willie is your typical Metal head who is obsessed with FORDS (God
bless his
soul) and, yes, you heard it, Westlife Music.
Amy is a sort of main character, this story will sort of get revenge
for her
fluky victory in the semi’s. Only Amy, Rebecca and a few others will
understand the “Whistles and Horses” bit.
Aroha is gonna be a preacher or monk or Something.
Tahi is a hired
thug.
Kahu will be a slave.
Justin’s role might involve Rachel, and also might involve Kelly or the
like, although he aint gonna be no chick magnet. Jeramain might also
end up
a slave. Suggestions for “Justie”, please.
Kellys role will have something to to with Timmy or Justin. Also she
will
posses some characteristics somewhat like a blonde.
Suggestions on Robert Conrad will not be taken, sorry. If he isn’t the
slave who keeps stuffing up he’ll be a monk.
Timmys role will be small but is sure to annoy him. It will ave to do
with
“Kelly”, “Whitney”, “Hannah” and “James”
The Woolfes have no involvment, unless of course Enrik begs really
hard.
Shorty might not get much of a mention, but you can bet he’ll be in it,
somewhere.
Much to James’s disappointment, no St. Helens chicks will get much of a
role
besides Lucy and Hannah. AND I WILL NOT have anything to do with
Tegan. (I
cant believe James didn’t tease me all day with it!) But James, if you
want, I can stich you up with someone after your first gurlfriend kicks
da
bucket.
And now, the other Questions…
Where is it set?
In my view of the world, 30-60 years from now. Thw world will be
pretty
much screwed up itself (Sorry Enrik) and business will dominate the
lifes of
the rich, survival and food the mind of the poor, and trying to keep in
the
middle if you are in the middle. Population will have risen
dramatically in
the parts of the world that are habitable, and cities will be
everywhere.
Because of the US-NATO vs CIS AsiaAfrican Alliance in 2011, half of
Russia
and Japan, as well as the whole west USA and Germany-France are
inhospitable
for man. The pop. Is about 6.5 billion, because nobody really lives in
the
US anymore, as well as Asia being all flooded thanks to a hole in the
ozone
layer.
What is the problem?
The world is becoming infested with more people like James. Oh No!
What is the REAL problem?
A group of crackheads think they can change matter into anti-matter,
and are
threatening to blow up the world. The only way to get out of this is
to pay
the group a lot of cash, which people don’t have, then they’ll
transform you
into anti-matter and take you to and anti-matter planet quite near to
here.
The whole rich people will be saved, an all the poor people (5.5
billion)
are gonna burn down ‘ere on earth. Now a bunch of people, inspired by
James
(?) are gonna kick arse and of course, save the world. Although they
are
only trying to save themselves they might end up saving the poor half
of
mankind. But there will be lots of characters who get mixed up in the
story, and the baddies are a bunch of evil thugs hired out by Enrich
Von
Stahleinhutz, to protect his anti-matter empire from invaders and
people
like James.
You can’t make anything foolproof because fools are so
ingenuous.
Sorry, didn’t have enough time to write the end of that
other
story.
FOR MOTHER RUSSIA, THE PEOLPE AND GRADENCO!!!
Maelstrom Fansite