Drug Squad in the Morning

I woke up this morning.

I know that usually happens eventually – but this was slightly different.

This morning I was woken up by something.

Normally I get around to doing it myself, but this time there was someone else involved.

I don’t know if they were trying to wake me up, or if they were just hoping I’d stay asleep while they were searching through my closet.

There were three of them. At least, three in my room – I could hear some more outside.

And they were wearing uniforms.

Of course, I woke up in a hurry and yelled and demanded to be told what was going on. I think I swore a lot, but that’s sort of to be expected I think.

They said they were from the drug squad.

That was a relief – I thought they were from whoever handles copyright stuff. In the other room my computer was quietly downloading movies from America. It might be stealing millions of dollars from the movie industry, but it wouldn’t interest the drug squad.

“Why are you here? What are you looking for?” I asked, still groggy.

“Looking for drugs, we do random checks every now and then” one of the cops said.

Ok, I was still half asleep. It might seem stupid now, but I believed him. I laid back down and closed my eyes.

A few minutes later I came to my senses.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked again.

“Looking for drugs,” said the cop again.

“What the hell for?” I demanded.

“It’s our job,” said the cop.

“Where’s Harry?” I asked, suddenly remembering I had a flat-mate.

“We arrested him” said the cop.


“What for?” I demanded. I guessed the answer before he said it.

“Possession of drugs” said the cop.

“Serves him right,” I said. I didn’t really like Harry very much, he was a pretty lame flat-mate. And it didn’t surprise me that he’d had drugs.

The cop just glared at me.

I climbed out of bed, as modestly as I could, wearing only my boxers, and grabbed some cloths from the floor and got dressed.

I walked through the door of my bedroom and entered the main living area of the house.

There were another couple of cops here.

“Good morning”, said one.

“Morning” I replied. It was strange, but everyone seemed quite normal with the whole deal.

“Don’t worry sir, we’ll put everything back when we’ve finished” said the cop.

“Did they search your clothes?” asked another of the cops.

“What?” I asked blankly.

The cop just shook his head and walked through into my room to talk with the ones in there. A minute later he came back out.

“We’ll need to search those clothes” he said.

“What?” I said dumbly.

“Take off your clothes, we need to search them” said the cop.

So I stripped off all my clothes. The cops took a quick glance through my clothes, and then handed them back to me.

I couldn’t be bothered getting dressed again just yet.

“Is it alright if I have a shower?” I asked the cop.

“Yeah ok, we’ll be done soon anyway” the cop said.

I wandered off to the bathroom, and had a nice slow shower.

About 15 minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, dressed again.

The cops had all gone, but there was a note on the table thanking me for my time.

I started to make myself breakfast.

I grabbed some cereal and poured it into a bowl.

I reached for the milk, but I heard a strange buzzing sound.

The buzzing got louder.

I checked the microwave, but it wasn’t on.

The buzzing got more distinct, and I recognized it.

It was my alarm clock.

I’d set it last night to make sure I didn’t sleep in for the entire day.

I walked back to my room, and sure enough, the alarm clock was sitting there, screaming its head off.

I hit the snooze button.

The buzzing continued.

I hit it again.

Still the buzzing continued.

Then I tried something rather drastic.

I opened my eyes.

“Oh hell” I mumbled.

I was still in bed. I hadn’t gotten up, and I hadn’t gotten dressed (either time), and I hadn’t had a shower.

I guessed that also meant there had been no drug squad.

I heard Harry talking to himself somewhere. I wished they had taken him away.

I didn’t have the energy to get up again, so I went back to sleep.

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