Only in America
1. Only in America.... can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America.... are there
handicap parking places in front of a skating
3. Only in America.... do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America.... do people order double
cheeseburgers, large fries,and a diet coke.
5. Only in America.... do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the
6. Only in America.... do we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America.... do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America.... do we buy hot
dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
9. Only in America.... do we use the
word 'politics' to describe the process so well:
'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
10. Only in America.... do they have
drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do
Why is it that to stop Windows 98 or XP, you
have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
You know that indestructible black box that is
used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the
airport the terminal?
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