Presented semi-proudly by Jawa Pro
Eric is a good friend of mine and he kept promising to write a story for this site, but he never did. He did, however, write a lot of trailers for the stories he didnt get around to writing. These stories are pretty interesting, and so I have listed them here. Some of them come with translations into English - but it is much more interesting to read them in Ericish (The way Eric writes) and see if you can work them out.
Another unusual teaser written by Eric.
As he wrote it:
a work in progres
ema sat in the tent in the amoson.she had ben studiing ants in the jungel.she was going well with her work but she felt ther was somethin else out ther .she was further in the jungal than enyone had gon befor and all the nativt talk was geting to her .and were was kyle he had gust gon for some choclet (por thin he was deliries with fever and it was no use teling him were he was or that she wasnt katheran his x)
she smield to her self maby the Mokele meby had got him. silly nativ legans still driftad trhru her hade the mokele meby is big monster many many man big he kill many many man kill with fire from the air he dose ther gide had told them thay wre just nativ legans. but still she woryd and ware was kyle .funy he thait that she was his wife kathertan . poor thing shed bine dead for a year now
kyle scremad he had to get away he had to run he remembard now it was all clear he had bine delirias with fever but it was all clear now he had thait he was in new york with his wife for thar anavesery thay had gon to the top of the world trad bildings he had left to get ther lunch in the sky loby whern bame but now he had to run.
ema herd a srcream she looked ot the window ther was kyle runing as fast as he code lik he had the deval after him he he was screming somthing moke munky wat was he yelling? poor thing was proberluy deliries
kule came runing intow the tent ema ema ! its rele its rele and then he fantad
An Aprox. translation into English:
A work in progress:
Emma sat in the tent in the Amazon. She had been studying ants in the jungle. She was going well with her work but she felt there was something else out there. She was further in the jungle than anyone had gone before and all the native talk was getting to her. And where was Kyle? He had just gone for some chocolate (poor thing, he was delirious with fever and it was no use telling him where he was or that she wasn’t Kathryn his ex). She smiled to herself, maybe the Mokele Meby* had got him. Silly native legends drifted through her head, “The Mokele Meby is big monster many many man big. He kill many man. Kill with fir from the air he does.” Their guide had told them that they were just native legends, but she still worried and where was Kyle? Funny that he thought that she was his wife Kathryn. Poor thing, she’d been dead for over a year now.
Kyle screamed. He had to get away! He had to run! He remembered it all now. It was all clear, he had been delirious with fever but it was all clear now. He had thought he was in New York with his wife for their anniversary. They had gone to the top of the World Trade Buildings. He had left to get their lunch in the sky lobby when Bamm! But now he had to run.
Emma heard a scream. She looked out the window. There was Kyle running as fast as he could, like he had the devil after him. He was screaming something, “Moke Munky!” What was he yelling? Poor thing was probably delirious. Kyle came running into the tent. “Emma, Emma, it’s real, it’s real,” and then he fainted.
* The Mokele Meby is a real legend among some primitive tribes. I can’t remember where, but I think it’s in Africa, but it might be South America, When show pictures of many animals, the natives say the Mokele Meby looks most like a Diplodocus, Brachiosaurus, Brontosaurus or a similar type of dinosaur.
as the fiter sqwad of orces fluw over the sky three pilots wer talking
roger target a head pre pare for last stage of flight over.
man it sounds like ther not expecting us back said kylie.
ya lets surprize them said james and mack it back .
GO GO GO! lets move it and kick some nod but!yelled (musta?)
YEEEEEEEHHHHH yelled james im going in. now james dont go doin nat stoped
said kyile.hay you now me ya we know .
with that james dived down betwen 2 SAMs the SAMs fired 2 rockets at him .
THER ON MY TAILL YELD JAMES. well wat you want me to do about it? asked kyile
james throu his stick to the side and dived betwen 2 bildings.the misiels unabel to ceape up slamed into them. YEEEEHHHHA!yelled james nice work said musta how saw it all.
just then the SAMs turnd arond and just as thay were about to fire they burst into flames as the 2 othes bomed them out.
Here it is in English.
As the fighter squad of Orcas (high-tech aircraft) flew over the sky, three pilots were talking.
"Roger! Target ahead! Prepare for last stage of flight, over."
"Man! It sounds like their not expecting us back," said Kyle.
"Ya! Let’s surprise them!" said James, "and make it back."
"GO GO GO! Let’s move it and kick some NOD butt!" yelled Musta.
"YEEEEEEEEHHHHH!" yelled James, "I’m going in!"
"Now James, don’t go doing that stupid!" said Kyle.
"Hey, you know me!"
"Yeah, we know."
With that James dived between two SAMs. The SAMs fired two rockets at him. "THEY’RE ON MY TAIL!" yelled James.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" asked Kyle.
James threw his stick to the side and dived between 2 buildings. The missiles, unable to keep up, slammed into them.
"YEEEEEHHHHHA!" yelled James.
"Nice work," said Musta, who had seen it all.
Just then the SAMs turned around and just as they were about to fire they burst into flames as the 2 others bombed them out.
The Time Traveler
There is no translation for this story - and I am not sure who wrote the 2nd part (its almost a different version of the same thing). It may have even been me - I cant remember - it was a long time ago. - JP
James was in the shower trying to forget but he cudent who was that gye how just gave him this wach
aaa head call kyal in the morning james started to fidel withe the wach he pushed a wird buten sudenly he had a strange feling tho he codent work out what it was about now that he relised that the shower was off strange he thaght i didnt turn it off he turd arond and saw that the shower was on but all the drops were going right thrue him at fist this freked him out a littel but when he reache to turn the taps off his hand went staght true the wall cool he thaght he walked thrue the shower curtan ant desided to run staght true the door 1 he took a 5 steps back and ran like a billy goat and -----]oww . stagh into the door wonering y his wach was beping he looked down at it it read TIMED OUT ............to be continyd [in my own time]
There was an unusual sound coming from the shower. It wasn’t a pleasant sound, in fact it was down-right unpleasant. James was singing in the shower. He had found his personal hygiene to be rather boring, so he was finding other things to waste his time with while in the shower. Singing had worked until the neighbor called the cops and complained about his disturbing the peace.
James looked down at his wrist. He was wearing his new watch. The guy who had sold it to him had said it was water-proof. That was good, because he’d forgotten to take it off. Looking at the watch, James realized the time was wrong. He’d never adjusted the time on this watch before, and wasn’t completely sure how to do it. There was a rather large button that looked like it must do something important. He pressed it.
Eric's Word of wisdom regarding posting cheques
and wit th money....
during the time of the 2000 sydny olimpics a groop of representitive were touring the syndney zoo. as thay were going past the gorila cage one of the gorilas reached out and grabed and ate whole the representitive for the chekislovacin goverment.
the tour gide ran and got the zoo keeper
right said the gard wich one ate him? he asked
that big male silver back the tour gide shakely replyed
the zoo keeper puled out a hunting rifle and shot him (thats the gorila not the tour gide) right betwen the eyes jumped over the fence and split his stomac open with a hunting kife and cried THERES NO ONE IN HERE!!!
so the next time some one says "the checks in the mail" yol no ther lying.
Insperation sneaks up on Eric at the strangest times