In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
( and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary.Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap." (and that would
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread
Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do
not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough
Medicine: "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just
get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
On a Japanese food processor: "Not
to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm
a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning:
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (...was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)
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